I have only been in a long distance relationship once and, personally, I wouldn’t ever do it again. However, simply not wanting something will not guarantee that it will not occur. External factors like our jobs or visas may force us into a LDR.
I had this talk early on with my nihonjin. We were talking late into the night and seriously contemplating how our future could unfold. One of the options he proposed was that he would return to Japan after graduating to get a job for a few years (to become more financially stable) and either he return back to Australia or I go to Japan. If he had told me that this time last year, I would have entertained the idea.
I hesitated to say straight away what was truly on my mind, but I knew if I didn’t tell him that I didn’t want to do a LDR again, I would regret that I had missed the timing to tell him. I’m glad I didn’t bottle up my concerns because it helped me learn to be more vulnerable to my nihonjin and trust in him.
The most prominent reason why I wouldn’t want to do a LDR with my nihonjin is that we wouldn’t be growing as a couple. Being with my other half every day, has allowed me to see the best and worst sides of him. When I was in an LDR, I just always tried to make all communications be positive because I could rarely contact them. But, it was the wrong approach from the very beginning. However, the LDR taught me to value and appreciate the physical relationship I can have with my nihonjin and we both try not to take each other for granted every day.